


we'll live in birds and flowers

by thecluelessphilosopher



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/F, F/M, I stan Fiona to an unhealthy extent at this point, M/M, Multi, Simon Saves Baz AU, Soulmate AU, Spirit Animals, yes this is based vaguely off of patronuses but fuck jkr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:26:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25865095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecluelessphilosopher/pseuds/thecluelessphilosopher
Summary: A Soulmate AU where the animal that represents your soulmate’s soul is tattooed on your body. Alternatively named after the song Maps and Legends by R.E.M.
Relationships: Ebeneza "Ebb" Petty/Fiona Pitch, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Nicodemus Petty/Fiona Pitch, Penelope Bunce/Micah Cordero, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 19
Kudos: 147





	we'll live in birds and flowers

**Author's Note:**

> I finally wrote a soulmate AU. The spells from this story are from Phillip Pullman’s His Dark Materials. For another great soulmate AU, and to read the inspiration for this one, read @annabellelux’s ([Tumblr](https://annabellelux.tumblr.com/) | [AO3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabellelux/pseuds/annabellelux)) [I See You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19008814) and @mathmagician’s ([AO3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mathmagician/pseuds/Mathmagician) ) [Time Is Running Out](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14900180). I wrote this thing in like two days, which is the fastest I’ve ever written something I’m actually proud of. Check me out on tumblr [@the-clueless-philosopher](http://the-clueless-philosopher.tumblr.com) for more Simon and Baz content. A special thanks to @sharing-a-room-with-an-open-fire for teaching me how to link things on AO3 because that was a lot!

**SIMON**

I turned eleven the summer before first year. That’s when my soulmark appeared. It started out stagnant, so everyone at the home thought it was just a temporary tattoo or something, but I knew there was something going on.   
When I got to Watford, the koi fish that had been resting on the inside of my wrist started moving, swimming up and down my arm. There’s a gate that appeared also, the ornate kind you’d expect to be on the property of some posh mansion. It was tattooed right where my hand met my forearm.

After my first month at Watford I asked Penny what it was. I would have asked the Mage but I thought it was some kind of defect I had, and I didn’t want to ruin what I had found at Watford, safety. 

She looked at me quizzically at first, then I saw pity in her eyes as she explained to me about soulmates. 

“There was this super powerful magician who didn’t want to marry the person who her parents had set her up with, so she made the soulmate spell to prove to her family that she was meant to be with someone else,” she’d said. “I’m not sure if it actually worked, but since love magic is so unpredictable, the spell was much more powerful than she’d meant it to be, now everyone has the animal who represents their soulmate’s soul tattooed on them.”

Eventually, I learned through a mix of reading books from the library and what teachers explained to me that everyone’s soulmark acts differently. Some of them move around, others don’t, some have color, some disappear at random times, but all mages have one. It's even unlikely that soulmates have tattoos that present in the same way. 

I once asked Penny what her soulmark was, she’d told me it was rude to ask but showed me the butterfly that was unmoving underneath her collarbone anyway. I never asked Agatha what hers was but I assumed she was my soulmate.   
A koi fish was quite an ambiguous animal and I never did any research on the symbolism as Penny did, but the first time I went to Agatha’s for Christmas I saw that her family had a koi pond in their garden, so it just fit. 

When I went back to the care home that summer my tattoo stopped moving. Everyone’s soumark behaved differently, it felt good to know that mine was looking out for me when I left Watford. It felt good to know that someone, Agatha, I supposed, was in my corner. I grew to be very fond of the koi fish that swam across my body. 

Every so often, the koi will try to swim through the gate on my right hand but never has, it's as if something has been blocking it. Penny’s done research but there’s been no record of someone’s soulmark having two parts, let alone there being some quest for a soulmark to go on. Penny says it's fitting that my soulmark is as restless as me. I felt less lonely in that moment than I had in years. 

The first time Baz and I got into a fight, it swam to the edge of my middle finger on my left hand, as if it was trying to leap off of my hand and fight him himself. I’ve never seen Baz’s soulmark, he probably doesn’t have one, he’s a vampire, they don’t have souls. 

**BAZ**

The mark that rests right next to my hip bone is of an Abraxan winged horse. It appeared as soulmarks do for every mage, on my eleventh birthday. It doesn’t move from its spot but sometimes it flaps its wings like it's about to take off, I can almost feel it when it does, like a gentle breeze, but different. Like the horse is sending vibrations across my skin. 

The creature was in the Harry Potter books but it is very much real in the world of mages. I spent the time before I left for Watford that fall trying to do as much research as I could on my soulmark, trying to get to know it. 

I couldn't identify exactly what it was until I came across an obscure book in the library at Pitch manor about different soulmarks. The Abraxan winged horse hadn’t been recorded as a soulmark since the spell was first enacted, almost seven generations ago. It had only been recorded once in total, so there wasn’t a lot of information on it. I ended up having to go on Harry Potter forums about different patronuses to find any insight into what an Abraxan might mean about a person.   
I found three things that everyone agreed to be true about Abraxans, they are powerful, hopeful, and stubborn. I thought someone like that would have suited me well, in fact, I felt myself fall a little in love with my soulmate even though I’d never met them. People don’t always know when they do meet their soulmate, one of my only memories of my mother is of her telling me it’s more to do with instinct, with a feeling. She said you’ll just know when you meet your soulmate. Even the Harry Potter forums agreed, they said that when you meet an Abraxan you know who they are. 

When I met Simon Snow, I knew. At least a part of me did. 

I knew I had a soulmate, but I always assumed it would be unrequited because I’m a vampire, so I tried to think too much about who it might be. That made it easier to deny the fact that I’d known since I’d met him. Simon Snow was the only person worthy of the Abraxan winged horse. 

I figured out I was gay in third year but it wasn’t until fifth year that I fell in love with him, at which point it became quite clear that my soulmate was, in fact, unrequited and was, in fact, Simon Snow. I suppose I can’t know for sure, it's not like I can see Simon’s soul, but I think the moment I considered Simon to be an option, I damned it to be true. Now, there’s no one else I can think of that way. 

Fiona is the only one I’ve ever talked to about soulmates, the summer after I realized I was in love with Simon. I never told her I thought mine was Simon, but I did tell her of my worries that I don’t have a soulmate. She told me not to worry but all I could see in her eyes when she said it was pity and uncertainty. One thing I know about Fiona is that it takes a lot for her to become uncertain, let alone to have pity. I guess she just didn’t want me to think I’ll be alone. Which, even if Simon was my requited soulmate, might still be true anyway. 

I was Turned before I matched, I died before I matched. All the research done states that if you die before you turn eleven, you don’t get a soulmate. 

**FIONA**

My soulmark is of a peacock. It was white when I turned eleven, its haunches were down, and it was quite beautiful, I always thought. It was unmoving, unchanging, stubborn, like Nico. It stood like a marble statue with enough detail you’d think it was real. 

When I met Nico, I knew it had to be him. It was his eyes, they had the same mischievous glint as the animal that rested on my bicep. I met him on my first day of Watford, at the welcome picnic. I still remember seeing him across the bonfire with a sense of curiosity I couldn’t quite place. 

Only in sixth year, when I saw the black stallion across his ribcage did I understand what that feeling was. It wasn’t love, I hardly knew him, it was a feeling of pure _knowing._ Almost a compulsion towards someone, just a need to know more about him. 

I felt the change before I saw Nico on that day after Leavers Ball. I felt the marble come alive, late at night, and when I pulled up my sleeve, I saw a beautiful peacock, same eyes, still unmoving, but different. I wasn’t sure why, but the transformation put me one edge. 

I saw him the next morning and I soon knew why. I’ve kept my soulmark wrapped in a velvet band that Natasha gave me ever since. 

I’ve always wondered about Baz’s soulmate, he’s a mage so regardless of what he thinks, he must have one. I wonder if their tattoo would have some sort of transformation too, I suppose not since Basil was Turned before eleven. 

He’s always been cagey about the topic, for a good reason, not only is he gay thus his soulmate wouldn’t be able to produce an heir, but also there’s always the suspicion that whoever he is may not be wholly on board with Baz’s condition. 

I never asked, but I hope he’s met his soulmate by now, or else I fear he may never get the chance. 

**SIMON**

Baz is missing, he has been for almost a month now. I thought I’d be able to forget about him but damnit, Baz has never been the type to let people forget about him. 

It's like my compulsion to follow him from fifth year has come back but this time, there’s no him to follow, instead I’m just lost.

I can’t smell his stupid posh products in the room, in _our_ room anymore, thats why I spend as little time as possible in there. It doesn’t feel right without Baz, thats where he belongs, with me in our stupid tower room, making me mad. It wasn’t supposed to happen this soon, life without him, him leaving because of the war. I thought they’d at least wait until the end of eighth year. 

Everyone knows this is where he belongs, even his mother, which is why I _need to find him._

The night after the Visiting I set out to look for him. The rational part of my brain knows he’s not at Watford, but the rest of me is sleep deprived and lost and I need Baz. I need Baz to ground me. 

Agatha broke up with me at the beginning of the year, she says it's not about Baz but I couldn’t help the pang of jealousy that went through me. That’s another thing that's wrong this year, Agatha and I are supposed to be together, I’d take Baz trying to steal her away from me over him being gone and her not speaking to me. 

I frantically make my way to the edge of the Wavering Wood and hack at things with my sword as though Baz will somehow appear from the shadows with a sneer on his face and a “using a priceless magical artifact as a machete, Snow? Typical,” and everything will be normal again. 

My magic has been on edge since it became clear he wasn’t coming back anytime soon, more often than not I’m asked to leave class because the other students start to choke on my smoke. The only person who could tolerate it when I was at my worst was, well, Baz. Probably because we spent so much time together. 

As I’m heading back towards my room, just before the sun’s about to come up, I feel it. Baz’s magic. It's not quite the same, Baz feels cold but also infinite, like outer space, like the heat of stars. This is a little bit more burning, more fiery than Baz’s but it's enough to get my attention. 

Just as I turn around to explore the source, a wand is pointed at my throat and a woman looks at me with a manic, vindictive gaze. She has Baz’s eyes. Headmistress Grimm-Pitch’s eyes. 

“Fiona Pitch?”

“Hello, Chosen One.”

“Where’s Baz?” I choke out, she looks taken aback for a second and then resolute again. 

“I came to ask you the same question.”

“You mean you don’t know? No one knows where the fuck Baz is?” something, sadness, I think, flashes across her eyes and she presses her wand made of some kind of metal, further into my neck. 

“If you and your Mage has done something with him...” she starts, sending a jolt of magic down her wand, it burns my skin a bit but nothing it's not too painful so I cut her off. 

“He didn’t do anything,” I say. She looks at me with a fire in her eyes I’ve only ever seen in Basilton Pitch and it makes my heartache. It must be weird to be so fond of a murderous gaze.

“Sorry, not taking any chances, kid,” she moves her wand from my throat to my heart “ **_the truth will out,_ **” she says with a dangerous rumble in her voice. 

“Alright, Mage’s Heir, where the fuck is my nephew?”

“I have no idea.”

“Is the Mage involved? Do you know _anything_ about this?” she says, coming closer to me, gritting her teeth, desperation evident in her voice. 

“I don’t know,” I say, more helpless than I mean to, my voice drops as I say “I’ve been looking for him.”

Then the unthinkable starts, Fiona Pitch starts _laughing._ Hysterically. She doubles over and throws her head back until she’s clutching her stomach and collapsing on the ground.

“Then why the _fuck_ am I here?” 

“Alright, Chosen One,” she whips out her wand and puts her stoney mask back on, the same way Baz used to but I can tell a part of her is breaking. She starts waving her arm around and she conjures up a card of paper, “here’s my number, call me if you find anything,”

She hands me the card and turns towards the parking lot. 

“Wait! Can’t I help you look for him?” I try.

“I don’t think so, Snow.” She’s about to walk towards her car but before she does she turns back to me “and, oh, if you tell the Mage I was here, you’ll be dead before the war’s even begun, mark my words Simon Snow.” 

I should feel threatened but more than anything else I’m just stunned and a little bit lightheaded after being accosted by Fiona Pitch outside the Wavering Woods at five am. 

I go back to my room and get ready for class then I walk to breakfast in a haze. 

My first class of the day is Magical History. I get their dead on my feet but luckily I’m too tired for my magic to make any sort of disruption and I just plop down next to Penny and put my head on her shoulder. She just lays her head against mine and in that moment, it's enough.

“Alright class,” Professor Glass starts, walking towards the front of the room, “our discussion today will be on soulmates,” he always starts classes like this, instead of them being “lectures” or “lessons” they’re “discussions”. Penelope likes him, supposedly words like that help to engage students, but for me the word makes me immeasurably more tired. It's ironic that we’re talking about soulmates today after Agatha and I have just broken up. 

“The soulmate spell was cast by Esperanza Lyra Pitch in the early-to-mid 1800s,” this grabs my attention. 

“Pitch’s family wanted her to marry James Dalton, who was a member of one of the Old Families, the family name for which is now Grimm,” he casts a wordless **_see what I mean_ **and notes begin to form behind him.

“But Esperanza was in love with a man called William Salisbury, who came from a poor mage family, since than the family has acquired quite a bit of wealth and are now considered an Old Family but I digress. The two of them devised a plan to prove to Esperanza’s family that they were soulmates, and perhaps discourage the Daltons from pursuing the marriage. Esperanza was a brilliant magician, she was eventually the headmistress at our very school but eventually, their plan seemed useless, they couldn’t figure anything out. In a moment of vulnerability, when she was saying goodbye to William, she inadvertently cast the words **_‘I'll be looking for you, Will, every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we'll cling together so tight that nothing and no one'll ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you... We'll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams... And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won't just be able to take one, they'll have to take two, one of you and one of me,’_ **”

Professor Glass dramatically pauses. 

“And then their soulmarks appeared.”

“But professor,” Penelope starts, not bothering to raise her hand “isn’t that a quote from the _His Dark Materials_ Trilogy? The first book didn’t come out until 1995. And how did they prove that Esperanza’s tattoo was of William’s soul animal?”

“You’re correct, Ms. Bunce. Phillip Pullman was a mage, he based the concept of daemons in the trilogy on our soulmarks.” He writes some notes in the air and then continues. 

“Esperanza’s parents used to constantly say that it was fated that she should marry James Dalton. Esperanza cast the words **_‘you speak of destiny as if it was fixed’_ **to reveal her and William’s soul animals to her parents. What was so special about these words was how circumstantial and specific they were to the reason that Esperanza needed to know her soumark, which is why no other mage has been able to replicate the effect. This is also why only the first spell was cast over the whole mage population. The sad part is, William passed shortly after, some say Esperanza’s parents poisoned her. Esperanza never married, no one really knows what happened to her.”

**BAZ**

I think about the tale of Willamina and Esperanza a lot. Even when my parents told it they changed the name to William, but while I was doing research on soulmates, trying to find information on my own, I found Esperanza’s diary in our library. She was in love with a woman, so she created the spell. I’m rather fond of aunt Esperanza even though I’ve never met her. She seemed like quite the woman, quite the magician. 

I’ve hoped my soulmate isn’t Simon for a long time. But part of me hopes it is Simon. I almost want to carry a part of him with me, I want proof that my being in love with him wasn’t avoidable, that its something that was always meant to happen. I know I’m going to die before I get to live a life with my soulmate, I’m okay with thinking it's Simon for the time I have left. 

**PENELOPE**

The butterfly under my collarbone isn’t Micah’s soul animal, and I’m okay with that. It's something the both of us have always known. It doesn’t have to be soulmate or nothing, though, other relationships can still be important.   
Regardless, I’ve always wanted to know more about how soulmate magic works.

After class, I go up to Professor Glass, he really is a brilliant teacher, even if Simon thinks he’s a “hippie”.

“Professor, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, Ms. Bunce, how can I help you?”

“I was just wondering, what were William and Esperanza’s soul animals?”

“Oh, Esperanza’s was a dragon, I think, and William’s was an Abraxan winged horse. They the only two known in history to have those two soul animals.”

**SIMON**

Agatha and I have to be soulmates. I don’t know what her soulmark is but it _must be_ my soul animal. We’re each other's happily ever after, that's how it's supposed to be. 

I reflect on this fact sitting in the library studying with Penny. 

“Why do you think she broke up with me?” I ask. 

“Simon, you weren’t exactly happy,” she says nervously. 

“But we’re soulmates, Penny,” I reason. 

“Are you sure about that, Si?”

“Who else could it be?”

“Hypothetically, it could be literally anyone else.”

I huff and turn back to my magical history assignment. We’re supposed to write an essay about why **_“you speak of destiny as if it was fixed”_ ** worked for Esperanza Pitch. I suppose it means that someone is talking about destiny as if it was changed, _fixed,_ amended. But destiny doesn't change, and that's exactly what I’ve been trying to prove to Agatha! We can’t change how it's _supposed to be._

“Simon, no,” I hear Penny sigh, looking over my shoulder. 

“But Penelope, look at it objectively,” she raises an eyebrow at me “I have to prove to Aggie that we’re soulmates, like Esperanza had to prove it to her parents.”

“But Simon, one of many differences between those situations, is that Esperanza had to prove it to everyone else not to William, not _to her soulmate._ ”

“I guess you’re right, Pen,” I say. 

As the sun sets that night, on the second day since Baz’s mum’s Visiting, however, I can’t help but feel as though everything’s wrong, everything is falling apart.

I sit on Baz’s bed under the cover of nightfall, and cast, **_“you speak of destiny as if it's fixed”_ **

**PENNY**

I wake up early on Saturday with a damn tiger staring at me. 

What did you do this time, Simon?

**SIMON**

“Simon Goddamn Snow!” I hear Penelope shout as I pull my pillow over my ears. Tonight is the first night in a week I’ve been able to sleep. 

“What the fuck did you do, Simon?” I sit up in bed and look at her, as my eyes adjust to the light. Behind her, stands a damn tiger. 

“Holy shit,” I say. 

“Don’t worry she doesn’t bite,” Pennys says, petting the tiger. 

“She?”

“Uh yeah, I named her Ajna, it's a modification of a Hindu boy's name for tiger.”

“Huh, that's cool. Why is she here though?”

“That's a good question, Simon Snow, and I shall respond with another question, did you cast the soulmate spell last night?”

I shrug. She glares. 

I drop the blanket from my chest as I get out of bed.

“Oh my god, Simon!”

“What?”

“Look!” She points to my chest, where a winged horse is dancing across my ribcage. 

“A pegasus? Cool.”

“I guess it's just like soulmarks, your soul animal will present itself in a unique way, in your case, you got another tattoo.” 

“Wicked.”

“And Simon,” she says, deep in thought “that's not a pegasus. That’s an Abraxan winged horse.”

**PENNY**

Holy fucking shit. Of course, Simon would be one of only two people with his soul animal. 

At breakfast, the Abraxan, who Simon has named Herald, is restless. Much like Simon, I suppose. If Simon’s soul animal is an Abraxan, shouldn’t his soulmark be a dragon? I mean I suppose history doesn’t always repeat itself, but it seems like it would fit. I wonder what a koi fish means, I suppose I’ll do some research later. 

“I ran into Fiona Pitch last night.”

“You _did?_ ”

“She gave me her number and told me to call her if I see anything about Baz.” He huffs and looks down at his food as if it's insulted his mother. 

Agatha suddenly walks into the dining hall, a horse dancing in light above her head. I watch Simon look hopeful for a second, but as the horse turns it becomes obvious, no wings are there and I watch his face fall. He turns towards his plate and frowns at his scone. Simon Snow should never frown at his scones. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, Si.” He shrugs.

“I guess it's alright, we weren’t happy.” Just then, Professor Glass and Ms. Possbelf go to the front of the dining hall. 

“Students,” Professor Glass starts “it seems one of you was inspired by my lesson yesterday and **_‘you speak of destiny as if it was fixed’_ **has been cast.” He says the spell without magic. 

“The animal that will have presented itself to you, is, in fact, your soul animal, we are working to fix this and we ask that everyone remain calm.” Ms. Possbelf finishes. 

After breakfast, Simon goes to clear the air with Agatha and I head to the library. 

I always thought that Simon’s koi fish was rather interesting, I’d never heard of someone with a koi fish soulmark and generally, after they find their soulmate, people share what their soul animal is. The first book I pull out is called _Animals, Symbols and Their Magical Applications._ The passage on koi fish reads as follows: “Koi fish are a symbol of strength and persistence, because of their ability to swim upstream. Specifically in Asian culture, they’re said to transform into a powerful dragon once they pass the dragon’s gate. Koi fish can also represent the overcoming of obstacles, prosperity, and independence. The most closely relevant example of their transformation in the magical world, is the transformation of koi fish living in mountains into dragons.”

The Abraxan winged horse and the dragon. I wonder who Simon’s dragon is, obviously the koi has to swim through the gate or something to transform, but how? And why is Simon’s tattoo one of transformation, that’s unheard of. 

Perhaps, Baz. He is a Pitch after all, and if he is a vampire, the koi could represent some kind of transformation, the Turning. It’s a long shot, Baz would have probably turned before he Matched but it's possible. 

“Hey, Simon,” I say as I see him walk away from Cloisters “you should probably call Fiona Pitch.”

**BAZ**

Something’s changed, my soulmark’s moved. Is this what it feels like to die properly? 

**SIMON**

“Why? Did you find something about Baz?”

“I have a hunch, but I want to ask her before I see if it's anything.”

“Why would she know if you’re right?”

“She might not, Si, she’s just the only one I can think of who could.”

I diall Fiona’s number from the business card she gave me and wait for her to pick up. 

“Chosen One, what have you found?” I don’t ask how she knows it was me, instead I just hand the phone to Penny. 

**FIONA**

“Fiona Pitch?” A higher voice asks. 

“Uh, yeah. Who the fuck are you?”

“I’m Penelope Bunce, I think I found something.” Of course Mitali’s kid would’ve. 

“Do tell, Bunce, my nephew could be rotting in a ditch somewhere.”

“I don’t really know where to start, I assume you know the story of Esperanza and William?”

“Of course the Mage told you it was William, her name was actually Willamina, Aunt Esperanza fell in love with a woman.”

“Alright well they’re soulmarks were of a dragon and an Abraxan. Esperanza was the dragon, William-Willamina was the Abraxan.”

“Right,” I say. 

“Last night, Simon cast the soulmate spell. And this morning an Abraxan showed up on his arm.”

“Interesting, Bunce, but that doesn’t mean-”

“There’s more. His soulmark is of a koi fish, and a gate, the gate of the dragon. His soulmark is supposed to make some sort of transition.”

“I’ll be there in ten.”

I knew it, I knew it. Just like Nico. The more I think about it the more it makes sense. Nico’s soulmark didn’t transition when he became a vampire, it did so when he decided to be. The Turning of a vampire isn't when they are bitten, it's when they decide whether or not they _want_ to be a vampire or when they accept that they’re a vampire. I suppose Baz hasn’t accepted it yet. 

I smell Snow’s magic before I see him and Bunce. Bunce keeps flashing him curious looks, Snow looks, well, more frantic than he did last night, and not nearly mad enough for Bunce to have told him that his soulmate is Baz Pitch. 

“Come here, Snow.” I say, pulling out my wand.

“What are we- why?” I don’t answer his question, instead I cast “ **_I’ll be looking for you, with every moment_ **”.

Just then, the horse on Simon’s arm glides from his forearm down to his fingertips and leaps off of his hand, as a figure of light floating in the air. Holy fucking shit, Basil, the Chosen One’s your soulmate. I wonder if he knows. 

The three of us run to get into my car and follow Snow’s soul animal. 

**BAZ**

I suppose I really am dead now because my senses are suddenly filled with the magic of the two people I love most. Fiona and Simon fucking Snow. 

I hear yelling, it must be someone trying to decide if they’re going to let me into the gates of hell. Then an explosion I’d know anywhere. The sound of Snow going nuclear. 

The last thing I see before I’m sure I’ve died, are Simon Snow’s blue eyes. 

“Baz...” he breathes, fondly, too affectionately for it to be real. 

“Simon,” I say with as much, if not more adoration as he scoops me out of the coffin ( _coffin?_ ) I was in and I drape my arms around his neck as I close my eyes, too fucking tired to care. I vaguely hear Fiona and...Bunce? cast healing spells, but I’m focused on the sound of Simon’s heartbeat, and the smell of his stupid generic shampoo. 

He moves one arm from below my back and runs his thumb across my cheekbone. I open my eyes and stare up at him like a damsel in fucking distress. He leans his forehead against mine and breathes “Basil”. It’s peaceful and perfect until I hear Fiona mumble about the Chosen One keeping his hands to himself and I pass out. 

The next thing I know, I’m sitting in the back of Fiona’s car and Simon Snow is flashing me worried looks in the rearview mirror. 

“Baz is up,” Bunce says. 

“Why am I in the back seat?”

“Front seat’s for people who haven’t been kidnapped by fucking numpties.” I try to raise an eyebrow and sneer but I’m too tired so instead I just slump against the car door.

Bunce hands me a brown paper bag with food from Watford in it. Bless her. 

“So how did you guys find me?” No one says anything and that's when I see it. The Abraxan winged horse flying above Simon’s head. Holy shit, someone must have cast the soulmate spell. The one Willamina and Esperanza used. 

I don’t say anything for the rest of the ride back to Pitch Manor, even as Bunce and Fiona trade knowledge about healing spells.   
When I do arrive home (not home, Watford is my home) Daphne and Mordelia greet me with tearful hugs. Even my father’s eyes shine a little bit more than usual. 

Snow doesn’t say anything to me as my family fusses over me. He just keeps looking at me as though he’s seeing me for the first time. No one mentions the horse, I’m not sure that anyone even notices Simon. Eventually, I see Fiona cast **_“nothing to see here!”_ **on the figure. 

I eat some more, take a long shower and get into bed without thinking of Simon once. I wake up from a nightmare about being in the coffin sometime in the early morning. I’ve been lying down for weeks ( _months?_ ) now anyway, so I get up on weak legs and venture towards the outside. 

I stand in the garden for a bit, taking deep breaths of the fresh air instead of shallow inhales of my own stale exhale. 

**SIMON**

“Hello, Snow,” Baz says, already knowing I was walking towards him. 

“How are you? Are you okay?” Baz gives me a sneer though it doesn’t have its usual punch. I suppose it was a stupid question, of course he’s not okay. 

“How did you find me?”

“I think you know how.” He nods. 

“It doesn’t have to mean anything.” 

“ _What?_ ”

“That we’re...what we are. The Crucible was wrong, why couldn’t the whole universe be wrong as well?” It doesn’t sound at all like a question. 

“Baz, we’re soulmates, that means something.”

“Crowley, Snow.”

“What, Baz?” I spit out, frustrated at him. 

“When are you going to stop doing things because you think you have to? When are you going to decide what _you_ want?”

“I know what I want, I’m asking what you want.”

“Simon, like last week you thought I was a monster! You hated me,” he says looking towards the moon, the light dancing over his features. His sharp cheekbones, that are too sharp showing he must have been starving. His beautiful grey eyes, his crooked nose from when I punched him. The only imperfect thing about him. 

“Last week, I was thrashing through the Wavering Woods looking for you.”

“You still hate me.”

“No, I don’t. I’m supposed to, but I can’t. Not because you're my soulmate, but because I just can’t hate you. I’ve tried, Christ, I’ve tried. But I can’t hate you, Baz.”

“I’m a monster. You’re a hero,” he says it quietly, if I weren’t so attuned to every part of him, I might not have heard it. 

“No, Baz. You’re wrong.”

Before he can protest, I gently take him by the back of his neck and kiss him. Instantly, his hands are in my hair and it's perfect. It’s so painfully _right._ I finally got it right. 

Baz pulls back, grinning like an idiot but trying to conceal it. Just then, I feel the Koi fish on my arm move and I pull my sleeve up to show Baz. 

The fish swims like a bullet across my forearm and through the gate at the base of my wrist. It flies across my hand and a dragon takes its place next to the Abraxan above my head. 

Baz laughs as they move in a whirlpool, I look up at him and his eyes are curious and beautiful and I never want to look away. 

Suddenly the horse disappears in a puff of smoke and the dragon shoots back onto my arm. 

Baz kisses me again as the dragon breathes fire across my skin. 

“Simon,” he pulls away “I’ve wanted you for longer than I care to admit, if you want me too, Chompsky help me, you can have me.” He closes his eyes and holds them shut. I run the pad of my thumb across the crinkles next to his eye. 

“Basilton, of course I want you, you idiot.” He raises an eyebrow. 

“It was fated for me to fall in love with you, Chosen One,” I scrunch up my nose. 

“What? I chose you, Simon Snow.”

**FIONA**

I miss him. I hate that I miss him, but I really do. It's like I stopped living after he Turned, after he left me. At least I stopped living linearly. I stopped moving forward. I have things to live for, Basil, even Mordelia but I left all of my zest for life in the pocket of Nico’s stupid leather jacket. 

Nico, Ebb, and I, were my entire world. It's like I’m still eighteen, the more I think about it the more I realize I’ve barely changed at all. 

I stand in front of my mirror at Malcolm’s and take off my shirt, studying the velvet band around my arm. 

Natasha was better than most of us, I miss her too. The two people, three if you count Ebb, I thought would never change, are all gone. 

I unwrap the soft fabric to reveal my soulmark once more. 

And there, on my bicep, lies an expressive looking goat. Huh. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!


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